


msannomalley Reviews The Fearful Sea Anemone/The Secret of the Crescent Coral Reef Operation

by msannomalley



Series: msannomalley Reviews Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman [6]
Category: Battle of the Planets, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman & Related Fandoms, Kagaku Ninja Tai Gatchaman | Science Ninja Team Gatchaman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-22
Updated: 2015-04-22
Packaged: 2018-03-25 08:06:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3802966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/msannomalley/pseuds/msannomalley
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>G-4 learns a valuable lesson about popularity.   msannomalley still has trouble typing the word anemone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> These reviews were originally written in 2002. The Gatch review was written from the Japanese subtitled episode that was included with the BoTP DVD's issued by Rhino.

I was really tempted to do something different and write the Gatchaman Episode Eight review before this one.  I think mainly because I like that version better than this one.  But I stuck with tradition and did this one first.

Okay.  This episode has a teaser at the beginning and then we get the theme song.  The Battle of the Planets opening theme is very good.  I wish more cartoon theme songs were that good.  I'm talking about the theme because I am stalling from writing about another Zark opening.  As if you hadn't guessed, I do not like 7 Zark 7.  To say that I find him annoying is putting it mildly.  I was never really a Zark fan to begin with.  I thought him annoying even at the tender age of 8 (and I'm 38 as of this re-write).  I felt that he took too much time away from G-Force.  I wanted to see more of G-Force, especially Jason (since a lot of his stuff got edited from the original version).  Yes, I was a fan girl at the age of eight.  *grin*

Okay, I've stalled enough.  I'll get it over with.

We open with Zark pacing around Center Neptune burbling about his job or something. One Rover One is watching him.  Then he says something about getting excited over something.  Zark got a call from the head of Quanto Tobor Labs.  Seems his high school reunion or the robot equivelant is coming up and the head called with Zark's invitation.  Zark babbles on about Quanto Tobor.  Then he starts...SINGING!  Oh, my bleeding ears!  Quanto Tobor apparently had it's own school fight song or something.  Rover yaps at Zark about his singing, and I'm thinking, Thank you, One Rover One.  Zark says he's going to the reunion.  I am having nightmares imagining a room full of 7 Zark 7's.  Then Zark goes on about Galaxy Security building a new base in Galaxy 30.  Then Zark decides to play voyeur and peek in on the construction.

Next, we're underwater, on some planet in Galaxy 30.  The innermost planet without a name.  We see a bunch of submarines traveling along as Zark babbles some more.  Seems the base is a submarine base, but this base will also be used by G-Force as a rest stop during long space flights.  So I'm wondering if this base will be like some of the other rest stops I've seen.  Will it be like the fancy ones that dot the Interstate Highway System?  Or will it be like the dump I saw in Northern Wisconsin when I was a kid, a rest stop that hadn't been cleaned in years?  Or will it be like the maze one I saw in Michigan's Upper Penninsula, where you had to walk through a maze to get to the pit toilet.  A person with diarrhea would die in one of those things.  But, yet again, I digress...

Oh, and it's also an additional line of defense against Spectra.  Zark tells us it's all very "hush-hush" and even G-Force doesn't know all the details.  Then Zark shuts up.  I am relieved.

Two guys in a submarine have a conversation at the beauty of this ocean, remarking how the waters are like what Earth's used to be and hopefully, this base doesn't mess it up.  Suddenly, a Thing interrupts their eco-friendly conversation.  This Thing is the Fearful Sea Anemone. It looks rather silly, as its eyes are quite extended.  It looks like a cross between Sigmund the Sea Monster and one of the Fierce Flowers (the episode where Princess gets sucked into a very large flower.)  As the Anemone shoots things from its tentacles at the submarines, Zark tells us that he has to alert G-Force at once.

Then the screen goes red, and I'm thinking, "Are they finally showing blood on this show?"  But the red is a balloon.  And Mark is getting a balloon unstuck from a tree and handing it to a little girl with an oddly shaped head.  She thanks him in an annoyingly high pitched voice as three other children with even more oddly shaped heads run up to Mark and the little girl.  Then we see Keyop, in his civilian clothes, standing aside, against a tree, playing with his bolos.  He's watching.  One of the boys, who is wearing a sailor's outfit, who probably gets beat up a lot at school, tells Mark that he looks like a space explorer.  The taller boy, with a  **very** long face, thinks Mark looks like a commando.  Mark asks the kids if they've ever seen G-Force, which is odd, because the kids never specifically mentioned G-Force.  Sailor Boy replies, "No, but I know the leader, Mark, wears white wings."  And I'm bothered by the fact that this kid knows Mark's real name.  Aren't G-Force's identities supposed to be a secret?  The Long Faced Kid wishes he could see Mark once.  (You're looking at him, Kid.)  Then Keyop runs up to this group.  He's taller and not as badly drawn as the other children.  Keyop announces to the kids that he's seen Mark, and Mark gives Keyop a dirty look.  Then Keyop asks the kids who their favorite G-Force member is.

Sailor Boy, who talks in a really annoying high pitched voice, says, "Naturally, Mark is.  He's the leader.  And he's the greatest one"  Because everyone knows that the main hero is the most popular, and I'm sure it was some subliminal thing to all those kids who liked Jason the best, because the heavy handed morals of American cartoons says you're supposed to like the hero because he's honorable, ethical, and really, really boring.  You're not supposed to like the temperamental, rebellious one who thinks for himself.  But yet, once more, I digress...

Keyop is disappointed to hear this.  Then he asks the kids who their second favorite is.  The girls reply, "Princess, of course.  She's so pretty."  Nothing about her technical expertise or her fighting or because she is a strong female.  Nope.  She's pretty.

Keyop is disappointed again and asks, who is the third favorite?  The kid with the long face replies, "That's easy.  It has to be Jason."  He doesn't give a reason, though.  More disappointment from Keyop.  Then Keyop asks about the fourth most popular.  Sailor Boy says, "That would be the fat fellow, Tiny.  And then the funny little guy comes in last."   And those freakish children, who really should not be throwing stones, nor calling the kettle black, start laughing.  Keyop is really sad.  I couldn't catch what he said between all the stuttering.  Mark gives Keyop a condescending pat on the head and laughs at him.  Then he walks away.  Keyop is sputtering mad, calls the kids "dumb dumbs" and stalks off after Mark.

Mark and Keyop are walking down a street.  Then they are paged by Zark.  It's a Red Code Priority Call!  There are no details as to what the priority is, but Mark and Keyop Transmute!  Over some stock footage of the Phoenix in flight, Zark tells us that he called G-Force and ordered them to go on a super secret double dog mission and he can't reveal the details right now.  Then they hit outer space and  **Sandy Frank's Rule of Space Travel That All Routes Must Pass Saturn** is in full effect.  As they go into Time Warp, the ship Transmutes! into the Fiery Phoenix, and breaking a bunch of laws of science, namely the one that states that fire must have air in order to burn.  And that there is no air in outer space.  So isn't this impossible?  Anyway, they pass a space station.  Mark wants to know what their destination is, but Zark tells him to keep his pants on.  Zark talks about the base on Galaxy 30 as we pan across the team.  Princess goes, "Strange?  I wonder why we were never told about this secret base before?"  Zark says it's nothing personal, but he wasn't programmed to release that information until now.  Then he tells about the subs that were destroyed earlier in the episode.

Jason says sarcastically, "So what else is new?  It's Planet Spectra again."   Zark goes in this business like voice, "Confirmed.  They're agents have been seen in the area."  Then Zark goes on about how they have to patrol an area around Arc Island, in an area called G Zone.  And I'm thinking that wouldn't it be hilarious if the writers decided to call it G Spot instead.  *evil grin* Zark says something about no radio contact unless necessary.  Keyop stutters, "Look, but don't touch."  Zark goes, "Right!  And he reminds the team to refrain from personal heroics, which is a  **bit of foreshadowing.** But I think he's mainly talking to Jason, since we all know that Zark thinks Jason is the hot-headed one.  (Zark can bite me.)  But Keyop goes, "Looking at me?"  Then Zark burbles about how much he worries about the team, and I think Zark needs to see a shrink.

Jason goes, "Once again we're on patrol duty."  And Jason doesn't sound too happy.  Then Keyop goes, "Real fun".  And he's not too happy, either.  Then Tiny goes, "It's like kissing your sister." And Tiny is not too happy either.  Princess scolds the three, "Our job is just to follow orders."  Mark goes, "Right."  And I'm thinking that those two are just a couple of boring old brownnosers and question why they are the most popular members of G-Force.  Then they approach the Giant Space Goo-Goo Cluster, (aka Mir, aka Zarkadia).  They land in some fog (lifted from Episode Five).  Then finally, they reach the island in G Spot, I mean, G Zone that they're supposed to patrol.  They give the island a run by and a green tentacle comes out of the water.

The Phoenix goes under the ocean and runs into the result of giving Sigmund the Sea Monster large doses of radiation.  Yep, they've now met the Fearful Sea Anemone of the title.  Princess is scared, and Keyop tells her it's just a big overgrown fish.  Mark says he's never heard of a sea anemone that big.  Tiny says that if you get yourself caught in those poisonous tentacles, you've had it.  The Phoenix flies closer, then goes away.  The Sea  Anemone chases after it.  Actually it bounces after it.

Jason goes, "Look at it!  A real weirdo."  And I have to agree with Jason.  Spectra's had some weird mechs, but this one is one of the weirdest by far.  Methinks the scientists were watching too many Sid and Marty Krofft shows.  Keyop goes, "It's coming after us."  Jason says, "No way!" in a way where his body language suggests he's making fun of Keyop (which means this part was probably different in Gatchaman.)  Then Keyop goes, "Yes, way!"  He doesn't say "Way!" like Wayne Campbell does, because Wayne's World had yet to be invented.

The S.A.  (which the Mech O' the Week will now be called as I'm sick of typing Anemone because I always type it wrong.) starts shooting things out of it's tentacles at the Phoenix.  And they miss.  Mark goes, "So it's Spectra again."  Of course it is, Mark.  Jason goes, "They must be trying to locate our secret base."  Then we see a shot of Princess getting up from the floor.  But I don't recall her falling down.   Maybe the Standards and Practices Lady knows.   Then she says, "Now we know how those submarines disappeared."  Mark tells Tiny to "lay the smokescreen."  The Phoenix goes in circles around the S.A., blinding it with smoke.

Next, it's night time, and we're on a beach.  The Phoenix is parked there and the team is asleep.  Outside.  In the open.  Where they can be seen.  We learn that Mark and Jason can sleep sitting up and that Tiny snores like a diesel engine.  Keyop is the only one awake and he's really annoyed at Tiny's snoring.  He gives Tiny a really dirty look (which is kind of cute and really priceless).  Then Keyop looks up at the moon and we are treated to a Keyop POV shot through his visor (which is really neat.)  He hears Sailor Boy saying how the funny little guy is last and the cackle that follows.  Keyop vows that he'll show those kids.  He gets up, but then Tiny moves his arm in his sleep and trips Keyop.  Keyop kicks Tiny's arm and then Tiny rolls over.  Then Keyop runs to the Phoenix, with this nifty disco music playing in the background, gets in, and gets his buggy out.  Nobody hears him leave.  Then Keyop goes, "We'll see who's number one in G-Force and who's last."  Then he drives the buggy into the water.

More Zark babbling about what we've just seen, and how he worries about G-Force and other crap I'll spare you from having to read.  Then Zark also mentions that he asked Susan out to the big Robot Reunion, but she hasn't accepted yet.  Rover asks Zark out to the reunion, but Zark turns him down.  Rover wasn't made by Quanto Tobor.  And it's rather sad to bring your dog as your date to your class reunion.  It's almost like...kissing your sister. 

Morning now, and the rest of G-Force wakes up and discovers that Keyop is gone.  Mark says, "I think I know why Keyop disappeared."  Princess asks, "Why?"  And at this point in the DVD, Mr. Ann O'Malley yells out, "Because he's sick of you!"  and then he does his impression of Keyop, saying "Br-rr-root-toot-toot! Boss is pussy!"  Okay, you had to be here.  And yes, the man I married has an impression of Keyop. 

Anyway...

Mark says that Keyop wants to do something special and be a big hero and he says this in a homey sounding voice that reminds me of the voiceover guy in the Smuckers ads.  Princess says that they'd better find him.  Mark tells everyone, "Let's go!"  And then they get on the Phoenix.

More Zark babbling and shots of the Phoenix flying as the team searches for Keyop.

We see Keyop and his buggy underwater.  In another part of the ocean, SA pops up.  Back to the buggy, and Keyop says he's going to get that "weird thing."  Then he looks out the window and sees the submarine base.  Keyop's buggy is on an underwater cliff and right behind him is the Fearful SA.  A tentacle reaches out, grabs the buggy, and has it for lunch.  Keyop and his buggy are on a platform that is lowered, and then we find out that Keyop is by  His Purpleness, Zoltar himself!

Zoltar says, "Come out of your whale, little Jonah."  And I'm thinking that the person who got Keye Luke to do Zoltar's voice is a genius.  And I'm also thinking what a great line that was.

The front hatch pops out and Keyop peeks out.  Keyop beeps out, "My whale...better than...your barracuda!"  Then Zoltar says, "What a defiant little fool you are!"  And again, I think it was such a coup for Sandy Frank to get Keye Luke to do Zoltar's voice.  Zoltar continues, "You are the dolt who guided us to your secret submarine base."  Keyop goes, "What?"  And Zoltar explains that he's been following Keyop all along and now that Keyop helped Zoltar locate the base, they're going to blow it up.  Keyop scolds himself and then goes back in the buggy and starts driving towards Zoltar.  Z jumps out of the way and Keyop keeps driving.  A saw blade comes out of the buggy, but then some nets catch Keyop and his vehicle.  Then Keyop and his buggy are hanging in this net.  Keyop peeks out of the buggy and says he feels like a mackerel.  Zoltar laughs and says Keyop's a poor hooked fish.  "I'm going to give you a treat," says Zoltar.  He's going to let Keyop watch as Zoltar blows up the submarine base.  "Won't that be enjoyable?"  Keyop replies, "Yeah, a million laughs."  Zoltar orders his goons to proceed to the secret base.  The SA bounces along its merry way.

Back on the Phoenix, wrist communicators go off.  Keyop contacts Princess.  He tells her that Spectra is going to blow up the base.  She says they'll tell the base to evacuate.  And Mark says, "And you stay out of trouble."  Jason says that he'll get a voice fix on Keyop's location on the sonar and I'm thinking that one of the writers had a brain fart or something because how does sonar get a voice fix on someone?  "Five degrees southwest," Jason says.  Mark orders Tiny to go there.

Now we alternate shots between the Phoenix and the SA, which is now using jet propulsion instead of bouncing.  It looks kind of disturbing.  SA gets to the base and Zoltar gives the order to blow it up.  They do and Zoltar laughs as he admires Spectra's handiwork.  Keyop blames himself.  Then the Phoenix arrives, but they are too late.  Then Mark smashes the cover over the Big Red Button (and I guess it only actually opens for Jason.)  Princess reminds him that Keyop is still in there, but Mark doesn't care, as he fires a missile at SA.  Or someone else does, because the hand we see is wearing a white glove.  The missile strafes the top of SA, knocking the tentacles and eye balls off of it, but not destroying it completely.

The Phoenix docks with the remains of SA and the four members of G-Force come flying out.  They all do back flips.  Then Jason does a flip over a goon and grabs the gun right out of the guy's hands.  While he is upside down, Jason shoots down the net holding Keyop and his buggy, who fly out of the net.  Princess goes up, courtesy of her yo-yo, for no apparent reason.  The Mark and Zoltar are face to face.  Zoltar backs away before Mark can punch him and disappears into the walls.  Then he says, "Well my young friend of G-Force, Spectra seems to have won the game again this time.  It is true that you put our anemone out of action, but it was expendable.  But what is important is that WE HAVE DESTROYED YOUR SUBMARINE BASE.  NEXT WE WILL DESTROY YOU!"  And the last bit will eventually be sampled by the Cuban Boys for their Battle of the Planets Theme remix.

Then the Phoenix flies away as the anemone falls over and explodes.  Of course, Zoltar escapes.  As the Phoenix is flying away, Zark chimes in to recap what happened.  On board, Mark apologizes to Zark for not saving the base.  Keyop blames himself for what happened.  Zark tells them that they're all to be congratulated.  Then everyone looks at Zark like he's high on crack or something.  Zark can now tell them that the secret base has now been built and that the one that got destroyed was a decoy.  Then Jason goes, "Then you played a trick on us, Zark."  And Jason doesn't sound too thrilled about being taken for a ride by a giant walking metal suppository.  And yes, I still think Jason can't stand Zark.  You should see Jason's expression in this scene.  Zark swears that he only found out about this just now.  And I don't think Jason is buying this line one bit.

Then Mark wants to know where the new base is, and Zark says that they're over it.  The Phoenix is over a crescent shaped reef and then the ship goes under water and enters the base.

Zark babbles on some more about asking G-Force if they'll take him along (and I'm thinking that if Mark agrees to this, Jason will stage a mutiny or fire a missile at the tin can.).  Then he burbles on about Susan accepting his invitation to the Robot Reunion and how excited he is to finally meet her.  He said he was so excited he almost stripped his dioelectric tetrode or some other made up electronics sounding name.  Whatever.  I don't want to hear about it.

More Zark babbling and then who should show up, but Hanna-Barbera Mark and Princess!  Princess still has a flat face, and Mark looks quite whispery thin for a guy.  He's also puffing out his chest and his ribs are showing.  Mark, eat something!  Anyway, they stopped by to invite Zark to a party they're having in Keyop's honor, something about saving the real base and stuff and they can't have a party without their "cool computer".  Princess needs to rethink her definition of cool.  Zark turns down the chance to meet Susan to go to Mark and Princess's party.  Princess gives Zark a kiss (and I'm picturing Swan Jun from Gatchaman cringing right about now.).

* * *

**Thoughts From Ms. Ann:**

Okay, aside from the fact that they were horrendously drawn, the reasons those kids gave for liking Mark the best bothered me.  I think it was a message that we're all supposed to automatically like the leader because he  _is_ the leader and in spite of being a patronizing, goody-goody, know it all and that admiring someone who thinks for themselves and questions things is wrong.  American cartoons are heavy on the morality, because God forbid a child's parents are to be the one's to give them morals and guidance.  This whole thing ticks me off as an adult, because I admire people who think independently and don't blindly follow things or other people.  This is not because my favorite character is the moody rebel guy.  I do admire people who question things they don't think are right.

Whoever got Keye Luke (who played the old man in Gremlins) on this show as the voice of Zoltar really does deserve a medal.  He is just excellent as not only Zoltar, but all the other voices he does on the show (Oh Luminous One).  Of all the American incarnations of Gatchaman (and there were three), BoTP, for all it's sloppy editing and campiness, is still the best of them simply because Sandy Frank sunk the money to get some pretty good incidental music and to hire real actors to do the voices (even though I think Casey Kasem is wrong for Mark, he's still better than the rest of them.)  The other incarnation of the first Gatchaman series was the Ted Turner version called G-Force:  Guardians of Space, and if you have the Rhino DVD's you can vouch for how badly that one sucks!  That series, while being a pretty faithful translation of the original Gatchaman, is ruined by the cheap incidental music that was composed on a $30 Casio keyboard, which I refer to as The Back Beat from Hell.  Others have compared it to Chinese Water Torture.  It's also ruined by the horrendous writing (the characters tend to speak in overly expository dialogue.  When someone is docking with the Phoenix, they are telling us that they are docking with the Phoenix.), the horrible voice acting, and the horrendous names they gave the characters.  Ken/Mark is now "Ace Goodheart".  I know.  It's awful.  Joe/Jason is now "Dirk Daring".  Jun/Princess is now "Agatha June".  I am cringing as I type this.  Jinpei/Keyop is now "Pee Wee". And Ryu/Tiny is now "Hoot Owl.  Hooty to his friends."  And Nambu/Anderson is now "Dr. Brighthead".  [sigh]  Even the fact that this version is Zark free doesn't save it.  The third incarnation is a splicing of Gatchaman II and Gatchaman Fighter (the second and third series).  It was called Eagle Riders and it was produced by Saban.  I've never seen it.  My only urge to see this version is the same sort of curiosity that other people have when they pass car wrecks.  'Nuff said.


	2. The Secret of the Crescent Coral Reef Operation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Review Has Been Certified 99.97% Zark Free. All translations are courtesy of Rhino. Don't blame me if they're bad.

Our episode opens underwater.  As a fleet of submarines is seen traveling, the narrator tells us, "Galactor, the evil that disrupts world peace, has gathered strength and is going on a rampage around the world.  To protect the Earth, Dr. Nambu has decided to build an underwater secret base for the Science Ninja Team."  A focus on one of the subs shows the pilot and his co-pilot having a conversation.  They talk about how beautiful the ocean bottom is and one of the men wishes that the Earth was always that beautiful.  The other man replies that the new base being built is being built on the basis of that wish.  In other words, the KNT's new base is eco-friendly.  One of the men hopes that Dr. Nambu finishes the base soon and the other says that their mission is worth it for the same cause.  Out of nowhere, this big thing, a big fearful sea anemone monster comes out and starts trashing the fleet of subs and generally making a mess of things. It shoots things from its tentacles.  Submarines are destroyed and people die.

But enough of that!  Next we see Ken, in his civilian clothes, getting a red balloon unstuck from a tree.  He hands it to the same poorly drawn little girl with the oddly shaped head for whom Mark also rescued a red balloon in "Battle".  The girl thanks Ken and a couple of other kids come up to Ken going, "Wow!  Wow!" As they are swarming around Ken, Jinpei is standing off to the side playing with his bolos.  A boy in a really dorky looking sailor outfit goes to Ken, "Wow!  You're cool!  Just like Gatchaman!"  Sailor Boy doesn't get out much if he's so easily impressed by the act of getting a balloon out of a tree.  His taller friend, a boy with an extremely long face, agrees, saying, "So cool!  Just like Gatchaman!"  Then Ken asks, "Have any of you ever seen Gatchaman?"  The kids say no, but Sailor Boy knows that Gatchaman is "a righteous fighter with white wings."  Long Face Boy says he wishes he could see Gatchaman.  Just then, Jinpei runs up and says, "I'm a big fan of Gatchaman and I know all about him."  Ken gives Jinpei a dirty look and says, "Hey!"  Because the identities of the Science Ninja Team are a big secret and nobody is supposed to know who they really are.  Unlike in BotP, where I guess everyone knows who G-Force is.  Then Jinpei asks the kids who the "coolest" member of the KNT is.  Sailor Boy replies, "No question about it.  G-1, Gatchaman.  He's the leader."  Jinpei looks disappointed.  Then he asks the kids who the second coolest member is.  The girls reply, "G-3.  She's a cool girl."  Not because she's pretty, but because she's "cool".   Jinpei looks disappointed again.  The he asks about the third coolest.  The taller boy with the long face says, "G-2.  He's a cool brother."  (Joe's from the 'hood?)  And yet again, Jinpei looks disappointed.  The fourth?  Sailor Boy replies, "G-5.  The chubby brother."  Then he adds, "G-4, the kid, is at the tail end."  Then the Freak Children start laughing and Jinpei looks really sad.  Jinpei goes, as he has his back to the other kids, "Gosh, I'm finally at the bottom."  Then he looks over his shoulder at the kids and says, "You guys don't know it all."  Ken just chuckles and ruffles Jinpei's hair, which does not make Jinpei feel better.  Ken leaves and Jinpei follows him, but not before he says at the kids, "Damn."

Ken and Jinpei are now walking down a deserted alley.  Jinpei goes, "I'm an 18th generation Iga Ninja and I'm the least popular.  I don't like it."  Ken reassures Jinpei, saying that he's doing a good job and to not let those kids get to him.  Jinpei says to himself, "I'll make it big next time.  I'll be number one on the popularity chart."  This remark, for some reason, makes me think of turning on my TV and seeing Casey Kasem (voice of Mark in BotP), in those sweaters he used to wear on America's Top Ten, going, "At number three this week on the Science Ninja Popularity Chart..."  And if that weren't enough, besides that, he'd also do a top forty radio countdown show on the forty most popular ISO employees.  "At number twenty-five this week is Dr. Nambu's secretary!"  But I digress...

Anyway, Jinpei's muttering doesn't go unnoticed by Ken, who goes, "What did you say?"  Jinpei is all, "Nothing."  Then the beeping of their bracelets interrupts them.  Nambu calls.  He doesn't say anything other than that it's urgent and he is to "gather and launch the God Phoenix immediately."  Jinpei is all happy because he thinks that this is now his chance to be number one.  Ken does the arm-"Bird Go" thing and he and Jinpei transmute.  Then they jump up in the air.  I guess they're going to fly to the God Phoenix, which is weird, because the KNT does not fly, they glide and they jump.

Once everyone is aboard, Nambu, over the ship's monitor, says that in order to "annihilate Galactor", they need a secret base.  As the screen pans across all five members of the KNT, Nambu says that "this will be the base for the God Phoenix, and your castle."  Jinpei goes, "Thank you.  My own castle.  I'd be like a prince."  Jun snickers, "A prince with a big appetite who is easily panicked."  Jinpei goes, "Tsk."  Nambu continues, "We must think that Galactor already knows about the secret base construction.  Some of our research subs have already been eliminated by someone."  Then Joe goes, "Damned Galactor" or  _Kuso!  Galactor me_ in Japanese.  Nambu says, "Clearly they're sabotaging our underwater base construction."  Then a map of an island pops up on the other screen.  The KNT are to patrol the island at Point G in the South Pacific.  Jinpei goes, "So we're building the base next to a desert island?"  Nambu replies, "G-4.  Galactor will surely come out.  Search the sea and the sky near the island."  Jinpei asks, "Just search, Dr. Nambu?" and the Doc replies, "That's right.  Just search and report."  Jinpei isn't happy and he mutters something about missing his chance to be Number One.  Nambu goes, "What?" which startles Jinpei.  Then Nambu goes, "Gatchaman, I've told you before, but we must not attack Galactor."  And I'm wondering if they can't attack Galactor, how can they "annihilate" them?  Ken goes, "Yes."  Nambu wishes them luck and signs off.

Joe's not too thrilled about having to do patrol duty.  How is he supposed to get his revenge on Galactor if all he can do is patrol?  Jinpei is none too thrilled either, because he wants to be the most popular member of the Kagaku Ninja Tai.  Ryu wonders if Galactor will really show up.  Unlike their American counterparts in this episode, Jun makes the observation that Nambu seems to have something on this mind.  And Ken agrees with her.  No, "Our job is just to follow orders" sucking up to a walking tin can with an oversized ego.

The Science Ninjas arrive at the island and circle around it.  As they do this, some green tentacles poke out of the water and wave around.  The Phoenix dives into the water.

Watching this on his monitor, in another location is that purple masked, pointy eared villain, Berg Katse.  He reports what he saw to Sosai X.  Katse says that there is no doubt that Nambu's secret base is around there.   Sosai replies that since Gatchaman is here, "we have to assume so." I wonder if Sosai X knows the reason why you should  _never_ assume.  (Because it makes an "ass" out of "u" and "me")  Sosai orders Katse to find Nambu's secret base as quickly as possible because if it's completed, the base will be a lethal threat to Galactor.

Back on the God Phoenix, Jinpei is sitting inside the clear dome, watching as the fish swim by.  He is eating what appears to be some type of Little Debbie Snack Cake, but I doubt it's actually a Little Debbie Snack Cake because I don't think they have those in Japan.  Maybe it's a Moon Pie or something?  Anyway, this scene is really cool with the fish swimming around the dome and Jinpei sitting in it as the God Phoenix goes. I wish they didn't have to edit this scene from Battle.  Jinpei's admiring the scenery when he is frightened by a shark that swims overhead.  Maybe the Standards and Practices Lady felt that the shark would scare the crap out of American children or something.  She obviously has never been to an aquarium.  Anyway, the platform goes down back into the bridge.  As Jinpei is coming down, Ken and Jun are laughing at him.  Jun goes, "If a shark can scare you, it's no wonder you're Number Five in popularity."  Jinpei goes to Ken, "Aniki, you've got a big mouth."  But Ken merely laughs.  Jun joins in and Jinpei looks miserable.  "Just wait and see," he vows.

Just then, the Anemone Mech pops up in front of the God Phoenix, and Jun is startled.  Jinpei laughs at her and says, "Onechan, it's just a sea anemone.  If that scares you, then your popularity will plummet."  Ken points out that sea anemones aren't usually that big.  Jinpei goes, "Huh?"  Then Joe says, "It's a real monster."  Ryu adds, "I've never seen one this big."  And he should know, since he lives in the marina and he grew up in a fishing village.  "If we touch its tentacles, we'll all be dead.  They're lethally poisonous."  Back outside, the SA (because I can't type "anemone" without messing it up), is waving said poisonous tentacles around.  On the ship, Ken orders Ryu to go around it.  He does, but the SA starts bouncing after the God Phoenix.  Ryu tells Ken that the SA is following them and Ken says it's "no ordinary sea anemone".  Thank you for stating the obvious, Ken.  Jinpei asks, "If it's not ordinary, then what could it be?"  And Joe replies, "A monster".  And he sort of does this exaggerated bend towards Jinpei and ends with a smirk on his face.  Jinpei goes, "Don't frighten me!"

The SA starts shooting at the God Phoenix.  The ship is shaken around a bit and on board, Jinpei and Jun fall.  When Jun falls, we get a  **Gratuitous Fan Boy Shot of her panties.** From behind.  And yes, this was cut out of BotP (and I can't really argue with that edit for once.)  No Gratuitous Fan Girl shots for the ladies, however, as both Ken and Joe don't fall down, instead each of them going "Oh" like we always see in Japanese movies and such.  More shooting and more falling from Jun and Jinpei (but no more underwear shots).  What is with the two of them always falling down?  I see this lot.  I have a movie clip I downloaded that has the KNT doing the Tornado Fighter in order to escape from wherever they were stuck.  When they break apart, Ken and Joe land on their feet, Ryu lands on his backside (which was kind of funny because it was right after they showed Ken and Joe landing and Ryu can be kind of a klutz at times.), but Jun and Jinpei fall down.  Is it because they're perceived as weaker?

Okay, where was I?  More dodging and shooting and falling.  Ken goes, "I knew it.  It's Galactor."  Joe states the obvious by saying that Galactor must be looking for the secret base.  I will forgive Joe for stating the obvious because it is my duty as a Fan Girl, even if I only play one on the Internet, to do so.  Jinpei gets up and then Jun gets up.  She says that the SA must have been the thing that destroyed the submarines.  Jinpei goes, "Now that I know it's Galactor, I'm not scared."  Then he gets this knowing look and goes, "A chance for me!"  Jun asks Jinpei why he's so enthusiastic.  Jinpei starts doing squats and says, "Of course I'm enthusiastic.  I have a purpose."  He stops doing squats when he's done speaking.  Ken tells Ryu to use the smoke screen.  Black stuff comes from the God Phoenix's exhaust as it flies circles around the SA and confusing the hell out of it.  The team makes their escape.

Now it's nighttime, and the God Phoenix is parked on a beach.  The KNT are on the beach, asleep.  I would think that a ship like the God Phoenix would have sleeping quarters, but then again, I didn't design it.  Or maybe they wanted some fresh air or something.  I don't know.  But somebody should have thought of sleeping quarters, because parking your ship and sleeping out in the open is not a smart thing to do.  Like their American counterparts, Joe and Ken can sleep sitting up.  Ryu is snoring like a diesel engine and Jinpei looks really annoyed.  I would be, too.  We get that same through the visor POV shot where Jinpei hears Sailor Boy saying "G-4, the kid, is at the tail end" and cackling.  Jinpei says, "They made fun of me."  Then he gets up, and goes, "Already", which makes no sense, but I couldn't catch the Japanese he said, so I can't even attempt to look it up to find out what he really said.  As Jinpei gets up, Ryu rolls over.  His arm comes out and trips Jinpei.  Jinpei falls face first into the sand.  He kicks Ryu's arm out of the way and the pilot rolls over, mumbling in his sleep "Can't eat anymore."  I don't know if he really said that or if the translators for Rhino threw that in as a joke or something.  Jinpei goes to the God Phoenix and takes his tracker out, going on his own to improve his popularity.  The others must be extremely heavy sleepers because they don't wake up.  I'm sure the tracker leaving the ship and going away is not a quiet noise.  There is a shot of Ken and Joe sleeping.  Ken must be the heaviest sleeper of them all because in the shot, Joe's shoulders are moving up and down as he's breathing, but Ken doesn't move at all.

Now it's time for commercial break.  Next we see the Golden Ken title card, some Kanji, and the announcer exclaiming "Gatchaman!" as a trumpet fanfare plays in the background.

It's morning now, and the four remaining members of the KNT on the beach, staring at the now empty bay which held Jinpei's tracker.  Ken goes, "Jinpei's trying to score."  Huh?  Score what?  Drugs?  Women?  Isn't he a little young for that?  Could the translators from Rhino please elaborate on this?  Jun, probably not believing what Ken just said, goes, "What?"  Ken replies, "He wants to make it big and be popular."  Jun goes, "He must have gone to the sea anemone monster."  Ken tells the others, "Let's go."  And they jump on board the God Phoenix.

As we get shots of the God Phoenix underwater, the Narrator says, "The God Phoenix searches for Jinpei's G-4 on the ocean bottom nearby, but they failed to find him."  Then some really Sad Music starts playing in the background.  Next, we're inside the GP, and the camera pans slowly up to Ken.  The Narrator tells us, "They call to him on his bracelet, but there is no answer.  And several days later..."  The team is back on the beach.

Jun wonders if Jinpei was captured.  Ken just kind of sighs and lowers his head.  Ryu goes, "I can't think of anything else."  Then Joe, who is REALLY BADLY DRAWN in this shot (more on that later), goes, "That damn kid.  Causing us to worry."  Ken goes, "I know him.  He's alive somewhere."  Jun puts her finger up to her mouth and says rather sadly, "Jinpei."  This is the scene where we get the feeling, that in spite of all the teasing and such, these guys really do care about each other, albeit in their own ways.  ("That damn kid...")

Meanwhile, Jinpei is sitting in the open mouth of his tracker.  He's parked on the beach and he's fishing.  He catches something, and as he brings in his catch, he goes, "Stupid sea anemone monster.  Where has it gone?"  Jinpei caught a puffer fish, which starts puffing up.  Jinpei puffs up his cheeks back at the fish then tosses it back into the ocean.  Then his bracelet chimes.  Ken is calling him.  Jinpei ignores the call.  He can't go back empty-handed, he says.  "My honor is at stake."

Several hours later, (I think) the tracker is back underwater.  Jinpei's going about his business.  After he passes by, the SA comes out of some rocks and starts following him.  Jinpei is still wondering where the SA is, and wants it to come out.  Something out the window catches his eye.  It's the secret base.  The SA is behind Jinpei, and one tentacle reaches out, grabs the tracker, and "swallows" it.  Once inside, the tracker is sitting on a platform.  The platform is lowered and who should greet Jinpei but Berg Katse himself.  Katse welcomes Jinpei.  Jinpei, peeking out of the tracker's mouth,  thanks Katse for inviting him into this monster.  Jinpei adds, "I've been looking for you."  Katse goes, "What a spunky kid.  But you are stupid."  Then he thanks Jinpei for leading him to Dr. Nambu's secret base.  Jinpei's like, "Huh?" and Katse explains that he's been "stealthily following" Jinpei with "this sea anemone fortress".  Then Katse adds, "Of course, we will blow up the secret base."  Jinpei goes, "Damn!".  The actual Japanese he said was  _Kuso,_ so he could have meant "shit" as well.  Jinpei swears a lot for a little kid.  The Great Swallow Jinpei gets back into his tracker and drives it straight towards Katse.  Berg jumps out of the way.  Then the walls open up in a really obscene way.  Obscene in the porno sense, as the opening resembles a certain part of the female anatomy and the interior of the anemone is pink.  (Can't help it, that's the first thing I thought of the very first time I've seen this episode.   And the wall opening up was cut from BotP.).  Galactor Goons come out and start shooting at Jinpei.  When Jinpei tries attacking back, the goons slip back inside the walls.  The tracker can't get past the walls.  More goons come from the (sugar) walls.  Jinpei tries ramming the walls again.  Again, it doesn't work.  So out of the mouth of the tracker comes this big circular saw blade.  It can penetrate these walls, but the blade gets knocked away.  Then out comes this thing that looks like a giant boxing glove on a stick.  Jinpei knocks out a bunch of goons, but a net comes out.  As the tracker is getting away, the net closes over it.  Now Jinpei's caught and hanging in the air.

Jinpei peeks out and goes, "Damn you!  I'm not a fish."  Katse, who loves every minute of this, cackles and says, "We can boil you or broil you any way we want.  But, kid, before we cook you up, we'll blow up Dr. Nambu's secret base.  Watch it."  Jinpei goes, "I should have torn you to pieces."  Katse gives the order to advance to the base.

Inside the tracker, Jinpei, in a moment of regret, says, "Things are going out of control.  I've led them to our precious base.  I was a fool to want to be popular."  Then he contacts the God Phoenix.  Jun answers the call.  Jinpei tells her the situation.  Ken goes, "Galactor has found it?" Jinpei tells them to hurry.  Joe tells Jinpei to hang on and he'll get a voice fix.  Joe informs the team of Jinpei's location and they fly off to save him.  Meanwhile, Katse has found the base, but they are to attack from a distance.  They blow up the base.  Jinpei goes, "Dear God" as if he's praying and Katse laughs at the destruction he has caused.

The God Phoenix arrives, but they are too late.  The base is history.  Ken gets royally pissed off.  He breaks open the cover over The Big Red button (because it only opens for Condors).  Jun reminds Ken that Jinpei is in there.  Joe is standing behind Jun, wearing this "Holy Shit!" expression on his face.   Ken launches off a Bird Missile anyway.  The SA's eyes fall away and bits of tentacle are blown around. Inside, Katse's like, "The hell?"   Ryu lands the GP over the entrance and the four Science Ninjas go inside.  They start kicking some Green Goon Fanny and Ryu calls them bastards.  Then the four of them do back flips and take out some more goons.  Joe does this neat flip thing where he grabs a gun from a goon, and while upside down, shoots at the net holding Jinpei.  We get this weird, yet kind of cool, under the visor shot of his face.  Jinpei takes off in the tracker.  Jun goes up using her yo-yo and then she comes down and takes out some goons.  Ken thrashes a goon, then folds his wing over his face, giving a surprised Katse the Evil Eye.  Katse and Ken have a bit of a staring contest.  As Ken is about to knock Katse's block off, the Mutant in Purple escapes into one of the walls.  Then he goes, and I know it's just to piss off Ken, "Gatchaman.  We Galactor have won this round.  I have blown up your secret base with my own hands.  Next time, I will snuff out your lives."  Then Katse goes cackling off into his escape sub (because he always gets away.)

The God Phoenix takes off, the remains of the anemone fall over, and Katse escapes.  Back on the GP, Nambu appears on the screen, looking kind of smug.  Ken apologizes for not saving the base.  Jinpei blames himself.  Nambu goes, "Good work."  And then they all give him this look that says, "Excuse me, Hakase, but what exactly have you been smoking?"  Nambu goes on, "Thanks to you, your castle, the secret underwater base is now complete."  Jun's all, "But Galactor..."  Nambu throws his head back and starts laughing and I wonder if someone did as I suggested previously and pulled the two by four out of his hind quarters.  "That was a fake base," Nambu explains.  Joe goes, "You mean, Dr. Nambu, you tricked us, too?"  Nambu replies, "Exactly.  While Galactor was busy chasing the Science Ninja Team around, the base was completed."  Then he congratulates Jinpei on a job well done.  Jinpei looks kind of confused for a moment, laughs and then goes, "I feel weird."

Ken wants to know where the completed base is.  Nambu tells them its right under them.  Beneath them is a crescent shaped reef.  We know it's a reef because islands aren't submerged in the water.  Jun points out that all they see is the crescent shaped coral reef.  Nambu says that's the base and it can move anywhere freely.  Then he invites the KNT to come on in.  The God Phoenix takes a dive into the water and when things clear up, they're all like "Oh!" and their eyes are wide and some mouths are open.  Joe is drawn better in this shot, only because it's Stock Footage.  Inside the base, named Crescent Coral, Nambu is watching the God Phoenix approach and he is so pleased and proud of this base, stems magically appear on the sides of his glasses.  But it's only for a moment, because they disappear again, leaving us to wonder how in the world his glasses stay up without the side stems on them.  The narrator chimes in now, saying, "The Science Ninja Team's underwater base is completed."  Then he issues an invitation to Galactor.  "Come on Galactor, who disrupt world peace."  Then he goes on.  "As long as there's Gatchaman and the Science Ninja Team the Earth will be protected."

And with the building of this base, Center Neptune was also born....

* * *

**A Few Thoughts from Ms. Ann:**

Okay, I did like this episode a lot.  The scene where Jinpei is sitting up in the dome watching the fish go by is really cool.  I wish that that scene wasn't sacrificed for Zark time.  I can understand cutting out the Jun's panties bit and the goons coming from inside the pink walls part, but this scene was really, really cool.  I'm finding that not all of the edits in Battle were for content.

If the God Phoenix is underwater, how can they use smoke as camouflage.  Ink, I could believe, considering octopi shoot out ink.  But smoke?

A serious fan girl gripe:  Joe was HORRENDOUSLY drawn in this episode (except for Stock Footage Joe).  I have two theories on this.  Either  **a)** The guy in charge of drawing Joe called in sick and they had to have someone else fill in for him, hence the badly drawn Condor.  Or  **b)**  In Battle of the Planets, we know of Hanna Barbera Mark and Princess, who always stopped in to visit Zark.  HB Mark and Princess are HORRENDOUSLY drawn.  My theory is that there was also a Hanna Barbera Jason, who upon finding out his only purpose was to go make nice with the Tin Can, balked (much like Real Jason would), manipulated time and space, made his way to Tatsunoko Studios in Japan some six years before BotP, and ended up as Joe in this episode.

Okay, call me one of them "preverts" if you will, but pink walls that open up in the manner that they did, do resemble a certain part of the female anatomy.  And it doesn't help that when I'm watching this scene, that old Sheena Easton song "Sugar Walls" pops into my head, either.

This base, Crescent Coral, is where all the exterior Center Neptune shots come from.  Although, in the BotP version, this base, while resembling Center Neptune, is a different base, on another planet, because Center Neptune was already built.

One of the big differences between this version and Battle of the Planets, is that they chose to edit out Nambu/Chief Anderson in favor of Zark.  Zark gets too much screen time as it is, so they should have left this to the Chief.

And speaking of screen time, I much rather prefer the Gatchaman narrator to Zark.  The Gatchaman Narrator doesn't try to hog the entire episode.  And I have yet to hear him sing, too.

Another point of interest:  It seems that in BotP, G-Force is pretty cavalier about having secret identities.  What's the point of the whole Transmute! thing if the whole world knows your name?  At least in Gatchaman, their identities are secret from the world.  It makes more sense.

If anyone knows how Nambu's glasses manage to stay up without the benefit of side stems, could you please tell me?  I do have this suspicion that the mystery of how Nambu's glasses manage to stay up without the side stems is like that of the age old question, "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?"  The world may never know...


End file.
